Of Alchemist And Heaven
by zeecloud9
Summary: WARNING, DON'T READ IF YOU HATE STORIES CONTAINING OC'S. three new transfers from Shallajhe  Before called nyc, fictional name arrive at central! Follow them on adventures with the Elric bro's on their quest. possible OCxEdward? o.0
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to OAAH. This is my first Full Metal Alchemist Fan fiction. My name's Zeecloud9- and no, I will not reveal my true name! :D Well, my first fan fiction was Trouble In Pandora which is up on FFnet, but it didn't really get much attention, I don't know why. In that fan fiction I felt as if I made to many amateur mistakes, and that the readers got so confused- because believe me, it looks amazing in your head, but then when I tried to write it down, either I had writers block or I couldn't relate to it. I guess mostly because I have nothing in common with the oc, and I think I made her too mean. But enough of that- this isn't about T.I.P… Of Alchemist And Heaven is a fanfic about the ugliness created by alchemy- especially those who are corrupt. Personally, I think Alchemy is amazing, I always dreamed of magic and scientifically impossible things to happen. Though not all the alchemist in history AND in the manga are all 'Hitler status.' The triple threat alchemist; Fallen Alseck, Crissilly Xhang, and Haida Baó Su.

Follow their adventure with the Elric brothers, as they discover the real meaning of being a 'dog to the military.'

Oh, and if you haven't already noticed, this story contains original characters. If you don't like oc's, then don't waste your time reading this. This story is by no means going to be made as a profit; it's for entertainment and fan service. I don't own FMA, and never will, so don't flame, me. This story loosely follows the Fma plot, but that's it- loosely.

Hope you guys enjoy and review.

**oF aLCHEMIST AND HEAVEN**

Present day in Central, Germany; Cross the continent into Wonderland

"Hey Fallen, listen to this!" The raven haired girl sitting next to the white haired teen gushed out in joy. In her arms was a large old heavy bind book, whom the white haired boy- Fallen glared at with a frown. He rolled his eyes, wishing that for once, his friend would leave that stupid book home.

"Haida, why did you bring that shit with you…" Haida gave him a offended look, but continued looking at her prized possession.

"… 'The basic laws of Alchemy apply to all of the universe's creations, all which are made up of matter'. So that basically means everything.' The basic rules are; Matter. Decomposition and Reconstruction. States that under the law of equivalency you must give up something in order to obtain something else. Hans Reich Goodwright.' That sounds a little off- usually it's written as 'you must give something' not give up. Huh, I wonder if that's a typo…"

Haida closed the book, the action causing a thin layer of dust that lay on it to disrupt the air, making them sneeze. Fallen glared at her, hacking as he rubbed his eyes. "H-Haida, really?"

""S-sorry!" She coughed. "I forgot." His glare intensified.

"You could've left it with Felix. He's looking after the apartment."

Haida looked appalled. "Heavens no! It's for my studies."

"…." Fallen took the liberty to stare coldly to the occupied seat in front of him, itching with desire to wake up the sleeping boy. Fallen's annoyance grew, and he lifted his foot casually, heavy leather combat boots hovering innocently over a sleeping boy's face. Haida watched with wary, knowing well what was going to happen. His boots suddenly collided with the boy's face, causing him to wake up in alarm and gasp for air. Hazel eyes glared holes accursedly at Fallen who looked uninterested in the situation. "Whoops, did I wake you sleeping butt face?" Fallen teased.

Crissilly growled, clenching his teeth. "What the fuck was that for."

"Pissing me off." Fallen answered back, looking out the window.

"In my sleep?" The raven boy retorted back. Fallen just shrugged. The train screeched abruptly, and every one hit their heads. "Ow!"

Haida clutched her head. "I officially hate steam trains." Crissilly agreed. "Let's never do this again."

"What's so special about Central anyway? I don't see the point in being transferred to another place half a continent's away. It's ridiculous."

Crissilly rolled his eyes. "Central, Germany- ring a bell?" "It's one of the world's leading countries in Philanthropy and Alchemy moron."

"YOUR _mother's _the moron here…."

Crissilly sighed with exasperation. "That doesn't even make any sense because we're orphans!"

"So? She had to be a moron to give birth to _you_!"

"Will you guys just stop fighting like an old married couple already! You're making my head hurt." Haida blurted out, interrupting their argument- or as she calls it, lover's quarrel….. Not that they know that's what goes through her head whenever they argue. Crissilly ignored the other boy as he stared at her, suddenly beaming with non-killer intent as he did to a certain colleague earlier. "sorry, I'm just a bit cranky cuz of our long journey, I guess… Not to mention spending four weeks on a boat that smelled like Fallen's ass….." He muttered the last part loud enough for Fallen to flip off the latter's reflection on the mirror.

Haida nodded in agreement. "I hate steam trains, boats- I'd rather not even leave Shallajhe if it were up to me. Too bad Colonel Hughes got the mandate from the Council…." Crissilly stifled a yawn. "Oh yeah! Hey, wasn't the Full Metal Alchemist transferred there too about two years ago?"

Fallen pressed his lips together as he looked back at the two. "As in Edward Elric?" Haida looked confused. "Elric? Who's-"

"That's Full Metal's name." Crissilly answered. "Oh- any chance you guys think the Colonel shipped our files to Central yet?"

Haida frowned. "Knowing the Colonel- he probably didn't." She said deadpanned. Crissilly and Fallen face palmed.

X * x * n l l n * x * x * x * X * X * X

Edward roamed the halls of Central's hallways in an unusual, less that always foul mood, muttering incoherent things under his breath that the rest of the Dogs of the military could have sworn was a new found language. It wasn't unusual to find the Alchemical prodigy in a foul mood- it's just that today he just seems to ignore his usual death glares and 'colorful' language at anyone he deemed to rub off the wrong way. Of course, they wondered why he was in a particular mood today… Why, you ask? The 'Dick Colonel' sent Alphonse to escort the new Shallajhe transfers.

… And he also had to hand in his mission report.

Now it's common knowledge around Central staff that Edward does NOT like the Flame Alchemist. No, it's more like he despised the man with every alchemical fiber in his body. No biggie….

Nearing said Dick's office, Edward was just about to burst in when he heard moaning from inside- making him instantly sick. '_Do NOT tell me they're actually- ew!'_ Edward knocked loudly, coughing when no one answered. "Eh-HEM!" Losing his already thin patience, he burst in the door. He caught him with a secretary in a fierce lip lock… He was relieved to see they were still clothed… the Secretary girl lounged on top of his desk with her arms wrapped around his shoulders. They didn't even seem to realize he was even there so Edward made a horrible hacking cough to get their attention.

Roy let out a groan, bidding the blushing girl goodbye. He cleared his throat, looking at the blond teen. "Major Elric, you're here unusually early." His downward smile turned to a bigger frown. "Just when I was getting to know Martha better…" He mumbled, making Ed scowl.

"Can, it sissy fire alchemist. Stop wasting your time trading germs with women and fooling around. Plus, her name is Peggy, _NOT_ Martha."

Roy smirked, although there was a hint of annoyance. "Still bitter you're not with your brother right now?"

"No shit, wiseass! And whose fault would that be!" Edward retorted back, his scowl deepening.

"Careful Full Metal, I can unceremoniously demote you to serving Watchdog hours at Brigs."

Edward grunted, the already thin patience he seemed to be born with, running thin. "Whatever. HERE!" The blonde threw his report at the Colonel's desk without caring that some loose papers flew out of the Manila folder and fluttered around him. "It's not my fault you're useless on rainy days! I'm _NOT_ going to be paying off the restoration checks for the buildings _you _burned _off._" Roy mumbled something under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I didn't know they stored gun powder there, okay…?" Waving the thought of the incident away, he looked up at the Major. "You're aware of the new transfers arriving today, right?"

Edward looked away boorishly. "Yea, so what?"

"Full Metal, I-"

"Forget it." Ed interrupted with a grimace, glaring holes at him.

"You didn't even give me time to give your order." Roy said bemused.

"There's no way I'm taking them under my wing- I'm not no friggin' babysitter!"

"Well…" Roy trailed off, resting his arm on his chin as he grinned evilly. "That's really a shame! Because that's an order."

Edward gave a displeased grunt, nose scrunching up in distaste. "Screw you."

"Just for that, that's 50 Merits off, Full Metal."

"WHAT!"

"If you want to regain your Merits, then you'll have to orientate the newbies. Either that, or Manners Etiquette class with Major Armstrong…"

"….."Swallowing his pride, the blonde saluted his superior with narrowed slits. "Yes-ssssssir." He forced out the words awkwardly.

Roy inwardly smiled. "That is all Full Metal- wait, I am craving that chocolatier's crepe from that upscale Bakery down the block, mind getting it for me-"

"You're pushing it."

Roy waved his comment away. "Yeah, yeah… I expect you to be in here at 8:00' clock when I call. Understand?"

Edward rolled his eyes, walking out of the room. "Sure, whatever…"

- 0 - 0 - / | / / | / - 0 - 0 -

"This isn't anything like back in Shallajhe at all." Was the first thing that came out of Crissilly's mouth when the three stepped onto Central Grand Station. Looking around with awe, the trio walked off the platform into the heavy crowd, making sure the person most prone to getting lost- Haida, was smack in the middle.

Haida blinked in awe, a large smile adorning her face. "You're right, but it is still very pretty…." She commented offhandedly at the grandness of the place.

Fallen let out an impressed whistle. "The economy must be hood here to build a place like this…" Setting down his luggage beside him, he eyed the Gold-imprinted Walls and columns. "That can't be real!"

""Transmuted Gold. It's too pure to be valuable." Crissilly answered, causing the latter to sigh.

"Pardon me." The trio looked back to see a towering in a suit of armor looking down at them. "Are you three Haida, Crissilly, and Fallen from Shallajhe?"

Haida nodded politely, ignoring the obvious stares Fallen gave the guy. "That's us."

The tall boy gave a small bow. "Nice to meet you! My name is Alphonse Elric. Colonel Mustang sent me to take you guys back. How was the trip?" Crissilly smiled.

"Just awful."

Alphonse seemed to get flustered by this, as he fiddled with his hands, pressing them together and looking down at the floor. "O-oh, Um I really sorry to hear that…" Crissilly shook his apology away, telling the boy to not worry about it. Out of nowhere, Fallen walked up to him with hesitation- before blatantly poking the confused boy's armor repeatedly. His two companions glared at him disapprovingly.

"that's so rude!"

Fallen shrugged at her. "What? He's in a suit." The white haired boy went back to staring at him as if he were the last meal on earth. "… We didn't go back in time, did we."

Crissilly groaned. "No! We're not in the Medieval Times, okay?"

… Haida had to apologize to Alphonse after that….

"It's okay- I can see how odd it may look, but brother said it's part of my training to, um…. Pass the State alchemy Test!"

Haida smiled. "Brother- your last name is Elric, so I suppose this brother of yours is the famous Full Metal Alchemist, right."

"Yup, that's right!"

"Lucky you Al!" A shocked Alphonse stared at her. "What's wrong? Oh!- is it that you don't like to be called Al?"

Alphonse shook his head. "No, not at all! It's just that I'm kind of surprised you called me by my nickname when there's no way you could've known that, is all."

"Well, you do look like an Al." Haida said casually. "Plus, it suits you because it has a cute ring to it."

Al blushed. "R-really?" He coughed awkwardly, rubbing the side of his head with a nervous laugh. "Uh-um, we should get going- Colonel Mustang is expecting us any time s-soon!..."

/

Yay! Ch. 1 peeps! Hope so far this story looks like it's heading in the right direction. Please REVIEW, AND I MIGHT JUST DRAW YOU ED. SERIOUSLY. CHECK OUT MY DEVIANTART: zeecloud9- add, request art, comment- whatev's!


	2. Chapter 2 see a flame colonel dickhead

Chapter two: when you see a fire, run- it's most likely Colonel Bastard

… 20 minutes later, they arrive at Headquarters

"- wow, I can't believe you're from Xeruvas, Haida!"

"Yup. The violet eyes give me away, since Xeruvians have them. Crissilly is from a small tribe on the border of Xhing and Xeruvas, so he's mixed. They're called the Zhao. As for Fallen- well he's obviously from Ishval…." Haida trailed off, expecting the typical insults and dirty looks, but was surprised when Al did none of these. Instead the boy just nodded his head and said it was cool…..

"Well, it doesn't look like anyone's here?... Oh yeah! They're probably hiding somewhere to surprise welcome you here. Oh wait- that was supposed to be a surprise…!" Haida and Crissilly looked at each other, and chuckled.

"Don't worry, we're good actors."

"Hahah, I'll show you all were the Quarters are. Oh, um Haida, Miss Riza is supposed to show you your room. The girl's Dorms are on the other side of the building, so you can take the shortcut across the yard to get there and she's waiting for you. Is it okay if you meet us back here?" Al asked meekly, and Haida couldn't suppress a giggle.

"No problem Al." She walked out unto the yard without looking back.

/=/ (no one's pov:)

"No surprise there- you guys gossip worse than women…" Ed commented to the now rather large group of men huddled closely, or rather around a certain douche Colonel's desk, giggling like young school girls.

Men were scurrying about in a frenzy, trying to get a good look at the new Transfers files- more specifically Haida. It was practically a riot right now, even worse since Havoc heard news of there being a 'hot' foreign girl. He suddenly barged in during dinner, barking out orders as if he ran the place. Peering over Havoc's shoulder, was a smug looking Roy, who's gaze immediately trailed to Ed's annoyed self. "Ah, Edward- couldn't hold in your curiosity, eh?"

Before Ed could retort back an insult, Havoc suddenly pounded the desk, causing everyone to skid back in fear. "Alright, listen up maggots!" Ed's brow twitched violently. "As most of ya are now aware, the new Transfers are coming in today. Now I want all of ya to be on your best behavior- 'specially since one' a them's a woman." There were hoots and jeers. Some called out lewd things while the rest whispered to how hot she may be. "Aye! No matter how hot she is, there'll be NO hitting on her! Have some respect and keep your crotches locked." Laughter erupted to Ed's annoyance. He watched as Havoc and the Colonel dismissed the men before giggling madly over the Colonel's desk.

"…You two…" Ed said, before he took his leave.

Roy had to look over the files again for the zillionth time just to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him.

He was looking over the files of a certain Xeruvian Alchemist in training- actually he was more like drooling over her picture. So was Havoc- but he's not as important. (A/N: Havoc fans I don't mean that as an insult, so don't do voodoo on me! lol ) "Oh my god- she's hot." The Flame Alchemist blabbered.

Havoc chuckled, taking a long drag of his cigarette in that 'I'm-such-a-badass-just-cuz-I-smoke-and-have-a-stubble' way. "You could say that again! I can't wait till I get to meet her in person." Havoc said with a smirk.

Roy scoffed. "As if- you think I'd let someone as eye appealing as her be taken by _YOU_ of all people? No way! In your dreams, Romeo…"

"Oh yeah?... A hundred Zen to whoever beds her first!"

"You're on!" And thus the masculinity complex began between the two. Poor Haida doesn't realize what's in store for her to come….

-X-X-C0-X-X-

"Alphonse." The tall armor looked back to see Riza and Haida.

"Miss Riza! Good afternoon! Um, Haida? Err, please don't mind me asking but, do you like you room?"

Haida nodded with a giggle fervently. "More than liked it, I loved it! The walls were painted my favorite color, and it looked and felt more like a room than a military dorm. It's cool how I get my own room too; back in Shallajhe I had 3 roommates."

"Oh." Alphonse said. "Did you like them?"

She shook her head. "Let's just say tempers clashed- _A LOT._"

Riza suppressed a small smile before bowing to the two boys. "I'm Riza Hawkeye, nice to meet you." Crissilly gave her a polite smile, returning the bow with a half one.

"Crissilly Xhang. over here is Fallen Asscheek. "

"Shut the fuck up! And I'm Fallen Alseck." Riza and Al both looked at each other and smirked.

"I have to remind the Colonel not to slack off on his duties just because today we have a different schedule- greeting you guys. I'll take my leave."

"Bye Riza, and thank you for helping me unpack." Haida said.

"No problem. Bye."

"… " Fallen let out a sigh. "Now what?"

"Al by the way, when are we going to see this 'not-so-surprise-surprise' party?"

"It's around that time actually, come on, I'll lead you there. It's in the Mess Hall."

(0o0) (Ed's pov:)

"I. Am. Suooooooooo BOOORED! Al where the hell are you?"

For once, the halls were empty. Everyone was in the Mess Hall preparing for Centrals newest victims. Why they chose this place, is beyond me… Colonel Dickhead and Blonde Casanova probably are thinking lewd things about the female Transfer. I sighed. The two were such perverts. Not to mentioned she's waay younger than them.

So here I am, taking a stroll around aimlessly while I wait for Al. No way am I going anywhere near the Mess Hall right now… I rolled my eyes. "So what if they're new Transfers? It's not like other countries Dogs of the military are different than ours. Big whoop- bet they're nothing special… Probably weak too…" I rounded a corner, only to stop at the sudden voices coming in front of me.

_Jackass!" _ Someone hissed, smacking something._ "You got us lost- you're such an idiot! 'Oh, I can find my way around' he says!"_

"_We're NOT lost, asshole!"_

"_Why the hell did you stray away from Al in the first place?"_

Al?

"_Oi, I told you I can find my way through here, so shattup!"_

"_Don't tell me to shut up cock-sucker!"_

"_Screw you, Fallen!"_

"_That's what your mother did last ni-" _I coughed, getting their attention from their bickering. I walked up to them with a forced smile as I raised my hand for a hi.

"Yo. I hope I didn't catch you guys in the middle of something…"

-(no one's pov)-

The raven boy with spikey short hair stared, and then smiled at the blonde. "Hey! Are you an Alchemist?" Ed nodded as he held out his State Alchemist pocket watch.

"Yup. You guys are the new Transfers, right? I've never seen both of you here."

Red eyes bore unto Golden. Fallen looked over at Ed with cold demeanor as he spoke. "Where's the mess Hall? Some weird dude in in a metal suit told us to go there, but we lost him."

_GLARE._ "…That 'weird dude' is my younger brother."

"The fuck I care."

"Fallen, that's rude! God, I bet you wouldn't be this rude if Colonel Hughes was here... He'd make you wash your mouth with soap."

"You're mother doesn't seem to mind it since she likes dirty talk…."

"That doesn't even make sense since because we're orphans!"

Suddenly Ed heard running from behind me, and the familiar clank of metal shoes. "Al?" The blonde turned back to see Al stop to a halt in front of them.

"Brother- oh, I guess you've meet Fallen and Crissilly."

"Hey Alphonse!" Crissilly walked up to and patted his armor, making Ed instantly nervous. Alphonse laughed, rubbing his head. "Che, look at us, we're acting like old chums or something"

'_Shit. Did he notice the echo?'_

Al laughed. "Brother, you haven't met Haida….. Haida?" Crissilly blinked.

"Where's my short exotic beauty? Wasn't she with you?"

"She was right behind me! I probably was running too fast, and she couldn't catch up."

"_Al! Next time remind me to ride on your back whenever you decide to go cheetah._" The heard someone say from behind Al with a light teasing tone. Al turned around.

"Miss Haida, I wasn't going fast at all!"

"Oh teehee, that's quite cocky of yourself Mr. Tall dark an armor."

"O-oh, I'm really sorry- i-I didn't mean that-!"

Haida blinked. "? Relax Al- it was a joke."

"O-oh, um, okay."

"Brother, this is Haida." A short, attractive girl stepped from behind Alphonse and waved. Smiling, she stuck her hand out.

"Nice to meet you- Full Metal."

-(Ed's pov)-

"Nice to meet you Edward, my name's Haida Baó Su." Her smiled widened.

… I'd be lying if I said she wasn't attractive to boot. Her raven wavy hair cascaded a little past her shoulder that shagged around her eyes and framed her cheeks. Smooth caramel skin glowed under the Bright lights of the Halls. It was unusual, but pretty. Central girls were chalky and pale because they believed being out in the sun meant they would char to a crisp, thus all the girls carried parasols everywhere and talked down on whoever had dark, or tanned skin…

'_What the hell am I thinking about?_' I mentally slapped myself for thinking that- seriously where did THAT come from? No big deal, she's just like ANY other girl….. And besides… I… Winry…

Forcing a smile, I took her hand and shook it. That feeling….. The moment our hands touched, it was as if a bolt of electricity pricked our nerves. '_Weird_'' I brushed it off, thinking it was just because she did Lighting Alchemy or something.

"Nice to meet you Haida."

999999999999966666666666666

Meanwhile, inside the cafeteria;

Roy looked up from his hiding place behind one of the Mess Hall tables, catching gazes with his lieutenant Riza. Said woman nodded in understanding at his silent demand, gripping a cord that hanged innocently next to her from the ceiling. Subordinates were hiding spread aout the Mess Hall, awaiting the appearance of the Female Alchemist in training. Before her arrival, the Xeruvian was already the talk of the day, having catching everyone's interest- including the Furor's, for being the first Female to be Admitted as an Alchemist in Central, Germany's history. If her skills were as good as what her file said, the Colonel had no doubt she would qualify to take the upcoming State Alchemist test, which was just a month away. Roy heard Ed's voice from outside of the doors, and instantly frowned, not wanting the 'Dragon of HQ' to scare the newbies away with his ever present pmsing attitude. Roy sighed, momentarily wishing Ed was more like his brother.

"Jeez, they're probably hiding around like idiots trying to surprise you three…"

"Ed, quick stalling. I want to meet everyone!" Roy's eyes widened. Slowly, a creepy grin found his way onto his lips, and he quickly wiped it off his face at the glare Riza gave him.

/-/-/-/

Edward, not once in his life liked crowds. Big crowds, small crowds. Even if it was more than two people around him, he never liked the extra company. Which is why he reacted in such way- Yell out when a hundred or god knows how many more people jumped out of nowhere when he opened the door and screamed in his face.

"GYAAAAH- WHAT THE HELL?"

Roy walked up to them with a suspicious grin that looked more like a starving hyena than a welcoming smile- the perv… He bowed, looking at the three newbies. "Welcome to Central Headquarters. How was the trip?"

Fallen scoffed, looking away as Haida inconspicuously stepped on his shoe. "Sorry, he's still pretty tired from all the traveling. Are you the Fuhrer."

"I'm afraid not Madame, I'm Colonel Roy Mustang. I'm also known as the Flame Alchemist. "

Haida blinked, suddenly aware of the stares she was receiving. Noticing her discomfort, Roy took her hand and lowered on one knee, kissing her hand as he flashed her a charming smile. "I'm a bit taken aback- you're much more gorgeous in person."

Golden eyes immediately narrowed to slits at the flirtatious dunce. '_Fucking womanizer._' Alphonse watched idly. '_He's so confident around pretty girls… M-maybe I should ask him for advice…_'

Haida blushed, staring at the floor so hard that the world could've ended and she wouldn't have noticed. "U-um, thank you?" She coughed, as Roy let go off her hand, ignoring the obvious frown From Fallen and Crissilly.

"Anywaaaays…" Fallen drawled out Boorishly. "I'm gonna check out the Grub. Later."

Haida turned to Roy, apologizing again. "Sorry, Colonel. I'm going to go talk to him."

"Was it something I said?" Roy asked, raising a brow when she shook her head.

"No. It's more of being in a country that killed and discriminated his people….."

Al looked down at the floor, as if Fallen's hate was somehow his fault. "The Ishvalan war…. It hasn't been that long ago, has it?" Ed was silent, but his face held a grim expression. None of the two Elrics knew much about it. Ed was only six when the Ishval war officially ended, but he was well aware of the still present racism and hate towards the Ishvalans from majority of the soldiers. After all, most of them were in it. "It makes me so sad to think that such injustice happened just because of being from a different culture."

Roy nodded. "that's right. fallen must have been ten years old when the war started, so he's seen the ugly things that happened during it."

"Why did the Military even start that war? It's so useless… Nothing can be gained or accomplish with useless wars- just because they were Ishvalan… Che!" Ed said, folding his arms in front of his chest as he scoffed. Haida looked at him, but soon left after Fallen, with Crissilly in tow.

Roy left, muttering something about avoiding Riza, and papers. Ed rolled his eyes, knowing he meant to avoid doing the overdue paperwork that was supposed to be typed four weeks ago.

Alphonse stood beside his brother, who looked up at him with a smile, placing his hands behind the nape of his neck. "So Al, what do you think of the new Transfers?"

"I think they're great, brother!" The suit of armor exclaimed, his chuckle resonating softly across the room. "It's nice to have new people around here."

Edward shrugged. "Yea, they're okay I guess."

"I knew it!" Al suddenly said, pointing at his brother. "You're so obvious, brother!"

Edward looked at him in pure confusion.

"Imma have to raise a brow at this one, Al. I have no clue what you're going on about…"

"Hahaha, don't act like you like you don't know- you can't wait until you get to fight them!"

"As if, Alphonse- gimme a break! How could you ever say that about me, your dearest older brother-!"

"- You're not fooling anyone with the older brother crap."

"… Shut up, Al."

_SLAAAAM! _

The door suddenly burst open violently, nearly falling apart off the hinges as it creaked pathetically on one nail. Ed's confused face turned to that of one who looked like they were about to shit themselves because they just saw the Grim Reaper…..

"_ OH EDWARD!~" A deep voice rang out in a sing song voice. "HOW GREAT IS IT TO SEE YOU TWO AGAIN!" Major Armstrong reached them in a couple of seconds across the Mess Hall in what looked like a half-skip, half predator type pounce.

"AAAAH!" Ed shrieked in horror, getting everyone's attention as they turned just in time to see the overly buff Major pick up Ed, his hands under Ed's arm pits as if he were some kind of pet.

"How splendid I get to see you two- oh, it appears as if you've grown taller, Edward…"

"Put me down Armstrong, I'm not no pet- AND DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!"

"brother, he didn't say that…"

"Whatever- he implied it!" He flailed his arms around pathetically, kicking the Major's rock hard abs, but to no effect. "Dammit Armstrong- PUT ME DOWN!" The frivolous Major did so, but only to skip his way towards the new Transfers.

"Why hello! You three must be new Tranfers!" he bowed politely, kissing a freaked out Crissilly's hand.

"This is not gay, this is not gay-!" Crissilly muttered like a Monk's Mantra.

Fallen sweat dropped, too disturbed to even laugh or comment at the raven's misfortune. "… Dude that's so gay…." He muttered. He freaked out a bit when the Major suddenly walked up to him and shook his hand, and glared when he spun Haida around, gushing at how adorable she was. He set the confused girl down, and bowed at the three once more. "It's an honor to meet such refined foreign Alchemist from our allied country!" He striked a pose, causing everyone to sweat drop. "My name is Alex, Louis Armstrong the III, of the articulate and prestigious Armstrong family. It would be the honor to show you younglings the great and powerful art that has been passed downy the Armstrong line for generations!"

Ed butted in, jumping on Armstrong as he attempted to stop the man from taking his shirt off… AGAIN. "Why don't you leave that for some other time, or better yet- NEVER!"Ed said with a grunt. "Che- idiot."

"Now, now, Full Metal, there's no need for such distasteful words…" Roy butted in.

Fallen, Crissilly, and Haida looked at each other. Fallen, took a step towards the bickering short Major and the Colonel. "... Did you say Full Metal?..."

Ed laughed sheepishly. "Um yeah, that's me…"

"….." Fallen only blinked as they were enveloped in very awkward silence. "… But you're not 'full'- you're a runt." Fallen stated simply, sticking out his hand to show Ed the height difference between them.

Al sweat dropped along with Roy, both face palming. "Here we go…"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SUCH A RUNT THAT YOU NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE HIM BECAUSE HE'S SO SHORT, AND YOU FEEL THE NEED TO POINT IT OUT?"

Fallen raised brows, blocking Ed's feeble but kill driven attack. He effortlessly avoided getting mauled by pushing his palm against Ed's forehead, stopping the fuming blonde from making any contact. "Okay…. I never said that- weirdo…" Crissilly just sighed. Jazz music echoed in the background and Haida suddenly spun, smiling as she closed her eyes to the music.

"wow- it's almost like back home…" Someone tapped her on the shoulder, and she looked over her shoulder to see Roy smiling at her.

"Would you care for a dance? I do believe you would make a great dance partner."

Tucking a strand of her hair, Haida nodded, blushing slightly when Roy led her away from the group.

"This seems like a good spot." Roy drawled out, and soon a Waltz played on. The Colonel bowed on one knee and stuck his hand out with that charming smile of his. "My Lady…." Deciding to join in his joke, Haida gave him a curtsy that seemed fit for a noble, and lightly grasped his slight calloused hands with hers.

"Why thank you, my humble Sir."

They stood at arm's length until Roy took a step forward, placing a hand on her shoulder as he still her hand. Their Waltz started, moving swiftly in circles across the floor, Roy humming the tune of the Waltz.

Chpt. 2 end! So now we know that roy and havoc have lewd plans and gamble on bets of who will bed women- oh lala! A lot of comedy is ensured, but also there will be- or I'll try to be as serious as I can and put drama in. it was going to be a strictly Edxoc fic, but somehow along the way it seems that Al has a better start than Ed, so who knows? Maybe there'll be love rivals, a mysterious love interest, unrequited love- I don't know until my magical thought bunny tells me, lol. But you can also vote to see who she should be with, but I won't guarantee anything….. if it fits, it ships, as they say….. Arigato until the next chapter, and review if you don't want Armstrong to scar Edward by making him learn ballet, yet another talent passed down through the Armstrong generation!


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